Counterfeit Forty-Niners

Recently it has come to my attention that there have been some counterfeit Daily Forty-Niner papers floating around, with people following its instructions and bugging the 49er newsroom for validation codes for free beer. To counter this, I have developed a little guide for the signs when a paper is fake.

1. Masthead. I have noticed that the people who counterfeit our paper tend to misspell the masthead. Last time, they called themselves "The 49ers." In the most recent page of a counterfeit that I have gotten ahold of, they spelled it "Fourty-Niners." Tip: We will never misspell our masthead. Ever.

2. Wrong web link. Our mastheads always use our website, Daily49er.com. The counterfeit ones always use the name LBunion.com. If LBunion.com is there, it's a fake newspaper.

3. Nonsensical pie graphs. This graph is pure nonsense. We wouldn't publish this kind of thing that has no functional flow.

4. Long teasers. The point of teasers is to tease you, as in, put as few words as possible to invite you to read further. Having a teaser longer than a caption sort of defeats the purpose of "teasing" the reader.

If you spot a counterfeit 49er, do not be alarmed. Check your calendar. The renegade band known to counterfeit our papers seem to only do so the week before April or the week before Thanksgiving. We are not sure why as of this point, but if it's around those times, do not be too concerned. This is their modus operandi.

If you spot these counterfeit papers in our boxes, though, please call the newsroom right away at 562-985-8000. Do not attempt to approach anyone who might have stuck them in there. They are considered to be armed and dangerous with satire. Call the newsroom, tell us where you found it, and we will send our people out there.

Leadership at it is best

The race for ASI election has started, and the campus has been littered with signs of candidates, the positions they are running for, and to ask to vote for them. A series of three candidates (president, vice-president, and treasurer) have proclaimed themselves as "leadership at it is best" (this sign is outside the CBA). Sorry guys, I'll pass on someone who can't even discern between "its" and "it's."

As if that wasn't bad enough, I just tried to go to the website that is listed on the signs. I can't see the link too well in the picture, but neither sfs-weebly.com nor do sis-weebly.com work.

Hall of Science construction restarting?

After construction of the new Hall of Sciences was halted, the construction crews were gone and all we got was a massive hole in the ground. But today, are they back? Or what? Are they just surveying the land? Have investors begun buying the bonds necessary for construction to restart?

Carpet collage

Senior art major Carina Downing tapes up and sets up her collage of carpets at the Max Gatov Gallery East at Cal State Long Beach. The piece is a series of pictures of carpets of casino gambling floors on the Las Vegas Strip. Downing said that the piece was her "pilgrimage to find out about carpets in Vegas."

Slanted stop

A stop sign outside the SSPA building is slanted oddly. Based on its angle, I'm guessing that the construction crews of the Outpost had something to do with it – I can imagine some kind of dump truck going backwards and accidentally hitting the sign. I have a hard time believing a car would be driving sideways across the road to hit it like that.

Martin Luther King, Jr. celebration

Dancers from Renaissance High School perform "Sierra Leone" at the USU Ballrooms during a day of celebrating Martin Luther King, Jr.

Expired elevator permits

Parking structure elevators display an expired permit. Last inspected on January 16, 2008, expired a year later on January 16. Don't like this. They should have put up the new ones. And the elevator I rode on was very slow to open and close the doors.