Monday, March 23, 2009

Counterfeit Forty-Niners

Recently it has come to my attention that there have been some counterfeit Daily Forty-Niner papers floating around, with people following its instructions and bugging the 49er newsroom for validation codes for free beer. To counter this, I have developed a little guide for the signs when a paper is fake.

1. Masthead. I have noticed that the people who counterfeit our paper tend to misspell the masthead. Last time, they called themselves "The 49ers." In the most recent page of a counterfeit that I have gotten ahold of, they spelled it "Fourty-Niners." Tip: We will never misspell our masthead. Ever.

2. Wrong web link. Our mastheads always use our website, Daily49er.com. The counterfeit ones always use the name LBunion.com. If LBunion.com is there, it's a fake newspaper.

3. Nonsensical pie graphs. This graph is pure nonsense. We wouldn't publish this kind of thing that has no functional flow.

4. Long teasers. The point of teasers is to tease you, as in, put as few words as possible to invite you to read further. Having a teaser longer than a caption sort of defeats the purpose of "teasing" the reader.

If you spot a counterfeit 49er, do not be alarmed. Check your calendar. The renegade band known to counterfeit our papers seem to only do so the week before April or the week before Thanksgiving. We are not sure why as of this point, but if it's around those times, do not be too concerned. This is their modus operandi.

If you spot these counterfeit papers in our boxes, though, please call the newsroom right away at 562-985-8000. Do not attempt to approach anyone who might have stuck them in there. They are considered to be armed and dangerous with satire. Call the newsroom, tell us where you found it, and we will send our people out there.

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